Negotiation and influence
Getting More
Getting More is useful for readers who want a practical negotiation approach built around goals, people, standards, and small trades rather than pressure tactics.
One-Sentence Answer
Getting More is useful for readers who want a practical negotiation approach built around goals, people, standards, and small trades rather than pressure tactics.
What The Book Is About
Stuart Diamond's Getting More fits the site's negotiation lane. It is useful for readers who negotiate at work and in everyday life: scope, salary, deadlines, family decisions, customer expectations, or internal priorities. The book's communication value is that it treats negotiation as an interaction with people who have perceptions, emotions, and standards, not merely as a numbers game.
For communicationbooks.space, the book should be read alongside Getting to Yes, Never Split the Difference, and Bargaining for Advantage. Its distinctive angle is practical goal focus and attention to what the other side values, including non-monetary recognition and fairness.
Who Should Read It
- Professionals, parents, salespeople, managers, and everyday negotiators who want agreements without turning every exchange into a contest.
- Readers comparing several communication books and trying to choose the right tool for their current conversation problem.
- Managers, founders, teachers, salespeople, partners, or parents who need communication advice that can be practiced in real situations.
- Readers who want a practical recommendation rather than a generic book summary.
Main Summary
The central argument of Getting More is that better negotiation starts with clearer goals and better understanding of the other party's picture. Many people enter negotiation trying to win a position. Diamond pushes readers to identify what they actually want, learn what the other side cares about, and trade creatively. The goal is not to dominate the other person. The goal is to get more of what matters by communicating in a way the other side can accept.
A useful reader should take three habits from the book. First, define the goal before the conversation. Without a clear goal, the negotiator may fight over symbols or ego instead of value. Second, listen for the other side's perceptions and emotional needs. Recognition, process fairness, and face-saving can matter as much as price. Third, use standards and incremental trades. A negotiation becomes easier when both sides can point to a principle, precedent, or small step rather than a naked demand.
Compared with Never Split the Difference, Getting More is less dramatic and less centered on tactical empathy in crisis-style bargaining. Compared with Getting to Yes, it is more example-heavy and everyday. It is best for readers who want a broad negotiation toolkit for practical conversations, not only formal deals.
Key Ideas
1. Goals are more useful than positions
A position is what someone demands; a goal is what they are trying to accomplish. When negotiators confuse the two, they reject useful trades because those trades do not match the original demand. Clarifying the goal opens more paths.
2. Perception is part of the deal
The other person responds to how the situation looks and feels to them. If they feel ignored, embarrassed, or treated unfairly, they may resist even a rational proposal. The negotiator has to communicate in a way that accounts for that perception.
3. Emotional payment can unlock movement
People often need acknowledgment, respect, apology, or face-saving before they can change position. This does not mean manipulation. It means recognizing that negotiation is human communication, not only economic exchange.
4. Standards reduce personal conflict
A fair standard, precedent, policy, or shared principle can make a request easier to accept. It shifts the conversation from 'because I want it' to 'because this standard makes sense here.'
5. Small trades beat one big demand
A negotiation can move through small exchanges that test trust and discover value. Instead of asking for everything, the negotiator can ask what would make the next step possible.
Practical Takeaways
- 1. Write the concrete goal before stating your opening request.
- 2. Ask what the other side needs to show internally before they can agree.
- 3. Look for non-monetary value such as timing, recognition, certainty, or risk reduction.
- 4. Use standards and precedents to make a request feel less personal.
- 5. Make small conditional trades instead of repeating the same demand louder.
- 6. Repair respect before trying to close if the other person feels dismissed.
How To Apply It
For your next negotiation, create a two-column sheet: my real goals and their likely concerns. Add three possible low-cost trades. During the conversation, ask enough questions to update the second column before presenting your preferred package.
Original Value: When This Book Is Most Useful
Getting More is most useful when the negotiation is relationship-sensitive and practical. Choose Never Split the Difference when the other side is guarded or adversarial, Getting to Yes for principled negotiation basics, and Getting More when you need a flexible everyday method.
Best Related Books
- Never Split the Difference
- Getting to Yes
- Bargaining for Advantage
- Negotiation Genius
Internal Links
- /books/never-split-the-difference/
- /books/getting-to-yes/
- /books/bargaining-for-advantage/
- /books/negotiation-genius/